Hilarious Insults

~ Coton headed ninny muggins!
~ Tripple deaker suarkraut and toad stool sandwich, with arsonic sauce!

Free Verse

I can't help but relive that time,
That time when I had no one to turn to.
The time when I thought I wouldn't pull through.
When I didn't want to pull through.
You were my person.
My one and only.
Now as soon as I become close to someone,
I do this again.
I make it happen again.
Now it hits me even harder.
I step into the shower.
My knees quake.
My earth begins to shake.
I fall to the ground.
I let the water pour over the back of my head,
Then it pours onto my face.
I hold my breath and it holds in all my fealings,
All my despair,
My weakness.
My everything is coming down around me.
Those same words.
The exact same.
I don't know how it is possible.
I cry myself to sleep,
Yet again.
I sound depressed.
I sound goth or emo.
But if anyone ever tries to tell you,
That they haven't been depressed.
They are lying.
This is my life.
Yay.

Tactful Tips

If someone is telling you something that...

1.) they have told you before
2.) they have told you a million times before
3.) someone else has told you this before
4.) everyone has told you this before
5.) you were there when it happened
6.) you told it to them

Just go with it! No body likes a party pooper. You'd poop parties. Then there would be a party in your pants. No body wants that.

Blonde Joke

(warning: the following content may offend)

A Blonde's Password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

~ When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 charactes long and include a capital

Funny Thought

When I get married

1.) I will keep my last name

2.) I will have a baby boy

3.) I will name him Jesus (not Hezus, Jesus)

Then he will be Jesus Crites!!!!!

Funny Thought

Guns don't kill people, Ninjas kill people.

Random Fact

On average 12 babies a day are given to the wrong birth-parents at the hospital world wide. That means that 84 babies per week, 4,272 babies per year, and 42,720 babies every ten years are given to the wrong parents and live their lives never knowing who their real parents are.

i

I wasn't sure

I didn't think I could

But

I realized

I wanted to

I was looking forward to it

I was ready

I really was

I am glad I stayed

I am glad I didn't run

I thought I would

But

I didnt feel the need

I got a lot of crap about it

I had people try to talk me out of it

I blocked them out

I didn't want to hear it

But

I don't care any more

I am loking forward to seeing you tomorow

I can't wait

But

I am looking forward to them saying those things

I am looking forward to standing up for you

I am ready

Free Verse

So confused
How can I say it?
I don't even know
I can't express what i'm feeling in words
How can I do this?
If you are reading this and don't know what i'm talking about,
dont ask.
I need to find a way through this,
but it's hard
I want to let him go
I need to let him go
I won't be happy with myself till it's done
I am too afraid to do anything
Why am I so STUPID?!?!?

Funny Thought

Why is it always when you have a million things to do inside that it is the most perfect day outside?

Touching Story

Freedom and Jeff

Freedom and I have been together 10 years this summer. She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings. Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery, it was broken in 4 places. She's my baby.

When Freedom came in she could not stand and both wings were broken. She was emaciated and covered in lice. We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the vets office. From then on, I was always around her. We had her in a huge dog carrier with the top off, and it was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in. I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight; and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes. We also had to tube feed her for weeks.

This went on for 4-6 weeks, and by then she still couldn't stand. It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldn't stand in a week. You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning. She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didn't want to go to the center that Thursday, because I couldn't bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear.. I went immediately back to her cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle. She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day.

We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her. I got her used to the glove, and then to jesses, and we started doing education programs for schools in western Washington . We wound up in the newspapers, radio (believe it or not) and some TV. Miracle Pets even did a show about us.

In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo. Lost the hair - the whole bit. I missed a lot of work. When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey and take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. This happened time and time again.

Fast forward to November 2000, the day after Thanksgiving. I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant. Anyway, they did the tests; and I had to come back Monday for the results. I went in Monday, and I was told that all the cancer was gone.

So the first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the big girl out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill. I hadn't said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew. She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), and she touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I don't know how long. That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.

On a side note: I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, and Freedom has some kind of hold on them. I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us and I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power coarse through his body. I have so many stories like that.

I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom.

Hope you enjoy this.
Jeff

Touching Story

The Brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?'

The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.
'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watch ed the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!'

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Free Verse

Why do they care?

It seems that all people do in todays time is judge one another.

No one can go anywere without being judged.

I thought that wherever you were as long as you had friends,

then you would have a safe place.

I was wrong.

My friend wears crazy socks one day.

I tell her I love them,

i'm telling her the truth.

As soon as she walks away,

our other friends start saying how stupid she is for wearing them.

When she comes back it is all happy smiles.

Why do they care?

She can wear what ever kind of socks she wants.

How are they hurting anyone?

Can't they just be happy that she is happy?

What happened to supporting one another?

What happened to dignity?

How could they talk about her one minute,

then pretend that they are her best friend the next?

How could they do that to her?

Why do they care?

Friend Quotes

"I will admit that I can be wrong, for no one is perfect. However, you can never be right when I am wrong. You are just less wrong than I am."~ By and anonomus source

Inspiring Lyrics

"My best friend gave me the best advice.
Each day is a gift and not a given right."

If Today Was Your Last Day by~ Nickleback

Free Verse

Why do I care so much?

You follow me,

you are creepy,

you are always around.

You never leave me alone.

Why do I care now that you're gone?

I saw you that day and kept making you jelous.

It was so funny to see you get mad over nothing.

And now, you've been gone.

For five days.

Why do I care so much?

I stop at your house on my way home.

I feel like I owe you that much.

As I walk up the steps,

I know that I will regret it when you open that door,

and smile when you see my face.

Why do I still walk there?

I go to your door and ring the bell.

No one comes.

The t.v. is on and there is a car in the garage.

Yet no one comes.

I still feel better.

I guess because I tried.

But why,

oh why,

why do I care so much?

Funny Thought

They say that duct tape can fix anything, right?

Well does that mean that if we put duct tape in a space ship and flew it to the ozone they could fix it there? *laughing groan*

So if we completly wrapped the White house in duct tape it would fix our goverment? *double laughing groan*

Deep Moment

Why can't people trust each other any more? There are always conditions and questions. If you ask me what to bring and I say a jacket. I expect you to show up with a jacket, not a million questions; how cold is it out? do I really need to bring one? why do I have to bring a jacket? are we going outside? how much time are we going to spend outside? I have one question for you: Why don't you just bring the jacket and trust me? I'm not going to lead you through a frozen pond. I care about you. Thats all that matters. Trust me.

Inspiring Lyrics

"What you said when you left,
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I feel too far, I was in way too deep.
I guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
And I should have started running.
A long, long time ago.

Im slowly geting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finaly getting better.
And now i'm picking up the pieces.
From spending all of theese years.
Putting my heart back together.

'Cause the day I thought i'd never get through,
I got over you.

And when you slammed the front door shut,
a lot of others opened up,
so did my eyes so I could see.
That you never were the best for me.

I got over you."

"Over You" by: Daughrty

For: "My Homie"

Free Verse

I feel numb.

I can't feel anything anymore.

It is like im watching my day played out like a movie.

No matter who is there,

I can't do a thing.

I feel numb.

I just sit there and watch.

They can say what they like,

do any thing they want.

I have to fight to even speak.

I feel numb.

I try to speak out,

I try to break out,

and I can't.

I feel numb.

I can't move.

I can't speak.

I can't stop it.

I can only sit,

and watch it happen.

I feel numb.

I finaly feel my fredom,

as I fall to the ground.

As I am tumbling to the road,

in the crisp fall air.

I can finaly,

almost,

feel again.

Almost

Friend Quotes

Thats pretty freakin peachy!

by~ "My Homie"

Free Verse

You push me to play-

no play is the wrong word.

You push me to win.

You want me to be something i'm not.

I can't live with the thought of going there,

everyday and standing derectaly in the line of fire.

The thought of standing on by that net,

with those girls breathing down my thoat.

Waiting for me to make a mistake do they can pounce.

No, it isn't 'playing'

the defonion of 'playing'

to occupy one's self with amusment.

No, you don't know the feeling,

of having your whole life mapped for you.

You don't know the feeling,

of being held in a shadow of expectations.

You don' know the feeling.

You cannot tell me you know what is best,

when you don't even care enough to remeber,

to remeber what I was so proud of YESTURDAY!

You can't even let me have one piece of your memory,

for something important to me.

You don't know the feeling so no, it isn't 'playing'

No

Friend Quotes

You gotta poop when you gotta poop

by~ Jessi

Funny Thought

Have you ever written a text or an IM or even spoke a sentence that totally made sense in your head but then when it came out, it didn't make quite as much sense as you thought it did?

Friend Quotes

The Apocalypse may be coming; but it is not the end. It is merely an entirely new beginning.

by~ a friend of "My Homie"

Free Verse

I realize I was wrong
so why do I still feel this way?
Why do I still have this pit of despair,
right where my heart should be?
I know it wasn't all my fault,
but still I feel this way.
You have your share of blame,
I have mine.
But I take it all on myself,
that in your moment of joy,
I was what brought you down.
I cant forgive myself for letting you down.
You called me to join you in your merriment.
I did nothing but bring you down.
You know I cant stand to have you brag about yourself,
but I should have been there for you.
Do you feel the way I do right now?
As I write this the pit fades,
Am I really the one to blame?

Friend Quotes

That's like forty-seven minutes we could be eating our toes or something

by~ "My Homie"

Open Ranting

How come when ever you ask someone a question that isnt the easiest to answer they never tell you what you really wanted to know? You ask "Why don't you ever call me any more?" they will say "Sometimes the world spins off and people get seperated." Cut the crap! I want a strait answer! I can take someone telling me they are sick of talking to me because im boring or what ever, I can't take the crap excuses.

Friend Quotes

The sky stopped peeing, but now its just windy so I guess it's farting.

~by my friend

My Quotes

Never regret anything that made you smile

Deep Moment

How do you really know when you have brought on too much? How can you know before it is too late? Do you have to fail to be sure? Isn't there a better way? Do you really have to make the choice of helping a friend over doing well yourself? Do you have to choose between you success and your fun? Can't there be a balance?

Friend Quotes

Flying really can't be all that hard. I mean, it's just throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

~by "My Homie"

Open Ranting

Have you ever felt really proud of something and wanted to show it to someone who's opinion you value and they can't even take the time to see it, or just point out it's flaws? Why would I want to show this to that person if it didn't mean something to me or I thought that that person would enjoy it? Do they think i'm the type of person who would waste their valuable time on something stupid?

For Warning

When ever someone says to you, "Do my eyes match my shoes?" DON'T LOOK! You'll look at thier eyes, down to thier shoes, then back up to their eyes and before you can say any thing they will just say, "Did you just body check me?!? You pervert!" i repeat DON'T LOOK! Look them in the eyes and say some thing like "I dunno" NEVER LOOK!

Deep Moment

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you see someone you care about is in pain; and no matter what you do there is nothing you can do to help them? When each tear that falls from thier eyes drives the dagger deeper and deeper into your heart? Have you felt the pain of standing by thier side and not knowing what to do so you just say, "It'll be okay." but you yourself are not sure thats true? You can only have a split second to decied wether you want to stand in the path of that bullet or look at the face of your friend who just was shot. You have to decied which is less painful.

Funny Thought

You know that feeling when you lean back just a little too far in your chair and your just sure you gonnna die?